Tip #27: Stay positive

Equally as important as believing in yourself is believing that everything you're doing is going to work out, sooner or later. When trying to make a good first impression, it is natural to want to second-guess yourself, to think about what you did right or wrong in each interaction, and whether you did enough to attract the person you desire. But that leads to over-obsession and distraction from your goal, which is to start a relationship with this awesome girl or guy you just met, or someone of equal awesomeness that you have yet to meet. In either case, it is crucial to stay positive while the waiting game stretches on.

No matter how many ups and downs you experience, always look at it in the context of the end goal. That means, if the interaction goes well, say to yourself: "That was great. Next time, it will be better!" If the interaction does not go so well, say to yourself: "That's okay. Next time, it will be better!" Repeat this drill with every person you talk to. Now, the reality is, sometimes the next time won't be better, or may not even happen at all; but that's all right. Be okay with rejection. If you maintain a positive mindset, and believe the next time will be better, in most cases, the next time will be better. Certainly, it will be better where it matters most, and with WHOM it matters most. But, you have to believe it; don't be your own worst enemy.

This may all sound like a bunch of self-realization nonsense when you're used to things always falling apart, but here's a hard truth. Unchecked negativity will snowball into more and more negativity until it eventually becomes a tomb of bitterness that you will be unable to escape from. It's no fun being around negative people, and though you might try to hide it, the best individuals are overly sensitive to detecting negativity. Positivity, on the other hand, is infectious and attractive, and helps you stay in the game for the long haul. Stay positive — even self-delusional, if need be — and you will keep from succumbing to the frustration that is especially potent during the anticipation phase.