Tip #27: Stay positive

Equally as important as believing in yourself is believing that everything you're doing is going to work out, sooner or later. When trying to make a good first impression, it is natural to want to second-guess yourself, to think about what you did right or wrong in each interaction, and whether you did enough to attract the person you desire. But that leads to over-obsession and distraction from your goal, which is to start a relationship with this awesome girl or guy you just met, or someone of equal awesomeness that you have yet to meet. In either case, it is crucial to stay positive while the waiting game stretches on.

No matter how many ups and downs you experience, always look at it in the context of the end goal. That means, if the interaction goes well, say to yourself: "That was great. Next time, it will be better!" If the interaction does not go so well, say to yourself: "That's okay. Next time, it will be better!" Repeat this drill with every person you talk to. Now, the reality is, sometimes the next time won't be better, or may not even happen at all; but that's all right. Be okay with rejection. If you maintain a positive mindset, and believe the next time will be better, in most cases, the next time will be better. Certainly, it will be better where it matters most, and with WHOM it matters most. But, you have to believe it; don't be your own worst enemy.

This may all sound like a bunch of self-realization nonsense when you're used to things always falling apart, but here's a hard truth. Unchecked negativity will snowball into more and more negativity until it eventually becomes a tomb of bitterness that you will be unable to escape from. It's no fun being around negative people, and though you might try to hide it, the best individuals are overly sensitive to detecting negativity. Positivity, on the other hand, is infectious and attractive, and helps you stay in the game for the long haul. Stay positive — even self-delusional, if need be — and you will keep from succumbing to the frustration that is especially potent during the anticipation phase.

Tip #26: Believe in yourself

This is going to sound an awful lot like my very first tip, love yourself, but there is a slightly different nuance in the context of "looking to date somebody." Sure, you need to love yourself because that's who you will spend most of your time with prior to being in a relationship. I don't need to rehash that. But besides loving yourself, you also have to believe in yourself as far as being and becoming the kind of person that somebody is looking to date.

When you've been single for a very, very, very, very long time, it is only natural to have self-doubt about whether anyone would even like to be in a relationship with you. As opportunities continue to fall apart before they solidify, there is the temptation to just give in to defeatism and say "Oh well, I guess I'm just not the kind of person somebody else could love." But that's simply another way of saying "I hate myself." If you are truly loving yourself as explained in tip #1, then naturally you should also believe that if you love you, anybody can love you. In fact, not only are you lovable, but you are worthy and even deserving of love. What this kind of thinking does is give you a new perspective on how you go about in your interactions with potential mates. Now, you are not in the position of trying to prove your self-worth to somebody you like, but rather, you are evaluating that person to see if his or her worth measures up to your own. In a sense, you've become the buyer instead of the seller.

This may sound a bit self-centered, but actually it isn't. If you have a high opinion of yourself, you should know that you absolutely deserve what is best for you, and you already know how much you would be worth to somebody else, without having to convince anybody. You can actually be comfortable with being yourself, because you are awesome. You are a unique individual, you are the cream of the crop, and anyone — ANYone, even the man or woman of your dreams — who doesn't see that isn't worth the emotional effort. Period.

There is a word for this state of mind. It's called "self-confidence" which is immensely attractive in both men and women. Not a cocky kind of confidence, but a quiet kind of confidence that says "I know who I am, and I'm ready to embark upon a new adventure with someone who can live up to the challenge." The people you meet will pick up on this attitude, and you will immediately start out on the right foot when you first introduce yourself to them. Even if nothing happens right away, it will lay the groundwork for more a comfortable and familiar interaction the next time you run into them, and already sets you apart from the field before any kind of closer relationship transpires.