My last two posts were about eating and nutrition, but that is only part of the equation of achieving overall wellness. Yes, I am a Kaiser customer, but this is not a plug for Kaiser. Wellness is something we should always have in mind, without a massive HMO corporation reminding us every day in two languages.
It's important to keep yourself healthy and fit. Well, duh, but what does that have to do with coping with the single life that lasts forever? A lot, actually. Keeping yourself in good physical condition not only helps you feel good about yourself, but also makes an impression on others. It gives you a vibrancy for life and encouragement to continue onward. Neglect of physical health often leads to neglect of emotional health, which leads to a miserable life that is compounded when you think about how alone you are. And self-loathing is a prescription for remaining single the rest of your life.
So, eat well, and find time to exercise in a manner that is comfortable for you. If you have a gym membership, use it, and not because you think that's where you'll find hot chicks or chiseled studs. I don't doubt the possibility that you may get on a treadmill, strike up a conversation with an attractive woman or man next to you, and see that lead to something. But the more likely scenario is that the person next to you will get off their treadmill five minutes after you get on yours. Or, the conversation will be pre-empted when that person's boyfriend or girlfriend stops by the treadmill to say hi. Or, the person will be too involved with an iPod to notice you are there. So, don't go with the goal of meeting someone; go with the goal of improving your self-image.
A healthy body and a healthy spirit are essential for surviving the single years. You can't depend on finding someone else to give that to you. You have to find it for yourself, and then you can be the one sharing it with others.
5/25/2011
5/04/2011
Tip #9: Dine out once a week
Have you been inspired to cook up a storm since my last blog entry? If so, you're probably sick of it by now since I posted that tip almost a month ago. So, I'll give you a break and say: good job on the cooking, now start dining out.
But not all the time. That will only put you back to where you were before Tip #8. I'm talking about occasional dining out. One time a week approximately, maybe two, but absolutely no more than three. Even if you can afford to eat out more frequently, stick to the plan of preparing most of your own meals at home. On the other end, even if you aren't rolling in cash, do try to set aside at least one meal a week where you leave the confines of your house or apartment and go out. And when I say eat out, I'm talking dinner — not the breakfast burrito you grab on the way to work or the turkey club you swipe from the office cafeteria on your lunch break. I mean a real meal, at a restaurant, where you order off a menu and get served. It doesn't have to be a pricey meal, but it should be something that has more of an experience besides just paying and eating.
Does that sound dreadful? Going to a restaurant, by yourself, when every other table is "party of two", "party of three", "party of six", etc? It can be discouraging and intimidating for sure. Humans bond over food. Just about every romantic comedy ever produced has the obligatory diner/café scene. There are few other venues where being single can feel so awful. You can't hide in a dark room, sit two seats away from other patrons to disguise the fact that you don't have a date, or melt in with a crowd of fans united in their adoration of their favorite team, band, or whatnot. No, in an eating establishment, it's just you, the table, and the plate. People do notice that you are there by yourself — they may not care, but they definitely do notice. So why would you want to subject yourself to such humiliation? Why not just pop in, order takeout, and head on home to catch up on your Netflix queue?
Because it is important to be comfortable with being alone. If you had someone in your life, wouldn't you want to go out for dinner every so often? I suspect so. And why? Yes, there's the joy of having the company, but there are a lot of other things you could do with that company too. Why dine out? Because it's not just the company, it's the pleasure of food. It's the intimate setting where you get to know each other better. It's the moment of peaceful calm when you're not busy making a meal or cleaning dishes while the TV or radio is on. These are all good things, so why must having a date be a prerequisite to experiencing the enjoyment? You can still appreciate a well-cooked meal and time of relaxation on your own, and the moments alone with your thoughts when you're not involved in busy-ness can be just as satisfying as it would be if there was someone else there. That's because you're starting to love yourself more, yes?
But what if you're not in the mood to listen to your own thoughts? Well, that's fine. Sometimes I don't feel like talking to someone, either, even when I'm with them. The difference, though, is that when you are by yourself, you can politely take up other diversions. Read a magazine or book. Watch the game on the screen above the bar. Listen to the jazz band. Surf the Web on your phone. You can do all this, and it's perfectly acceptable, unlike when you have someone there at the table with you. Try it when you're on a date and you'll be considered extremely rude. In fact, I'd bet that many single people have had that very situation at one time or another where they are out with someone that has suddenly turned into a colossal bore, yet are stuck listening to that person because it wouldn't be proper etiquette to turn their attention elsewhere.
You don't have to worry about that when you've ordered a table for one, so learn to like those moments too.
But not all the time. That will only put you back to where you were before Tip #8. I'm talking about occasional dining out. One time a week approximately, maybe two, but absolutely no more than three. Even if you can afford to eat out more frequently, stick to the plan of preparing most of your own meals at home. On the other end, even if you aren't rolling in cash, do try to set aside at least one meal a week where you leave the confines of your house or apartment and go out. And when I say eat out, I'm talking dinner — not the breakfast burrito you grab on the way to work or the turkey club you swipe from the office cafeteria on your lunch break. I mean a real meal, at a restaurant, where you order off a menu and get served. It doesn't have to be a pricey meal, but it should be something that has more of an experience besides just paying and eating.
Does that sound dreadful? Going to a restaurant, by yourself, when every other table is "party of two", "party of three", "party of six", etc? It can be discouraging and intimidating for sure. Humans bond over food. Just about every romantic comedy ever produced has the obligatory diner/café scene. There are few other venues where being single can feel so awful. You can't hide in a dark room, sit two seats away from other patrons to disguise the fact that you don't have a date, or melt in with a crowd of fans united in their adoration of their favorite team, band, or whatnot. No, in an eating establishment, it's just you, the table, and the plate. People do notice that you are there by yourself — they may not care, but they definitely do notice. So why would you want to subject yourself to such humiliation? Why not just pop in, order takeout, and head on home to catch up on your Netflix queue?
Because it is important to be comfortable with being alone. If you had someone in your life, wouldn't you want to go out for dinner every so often? I suspect so. And why? Yes, there's the joy of having the company, but there are a lot of other things you could do with that company too. Why dine out? Because it's not just the company, it's the pleasure of food. It's the intimate setting where you get to know each other better. It's the moment of peaceful calm when you're not busy making a meal or cleaning dishes while the TV or radio is on. These are all good things, so why must having a date be a prerequisite to experiencing the enjoyment? You can still appreciate a well-cooked meal and time of relaxation on your own, and the moments alone with your thoughts when you're not involved in busy-ness can be just as satisfying as it would be if there was someone else there. That's because you're starting to love yourself more, yes?
But what if you're not in the mood to listen to your own thoughts? Well, that's fine. Sometimes I don't feel like talking to someone, either, even when I'm with them. The difference, though, is that when you are by yourself, you can politely take up other diversions. Read a magazine or book. Watch the game on the screen above the bar. Listen to the jazz band. Surf the Web on your phone. You can do all this, and it's perfectly acceptable, unlike when you have someone there at the table with you. Try it when you're on a date and you'll be considered extremely rude. In fact, I'd bet that many single people have had that very situation at one time or another where they are out with someone that has suddenly turned into a colossal bore, yet are stuck listening to that person because it wouldn't be proper etiquette to turn their attention elsewhere.
You don't have to worry about that when you've ordered a table for one, so learn to like those moments too.
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