Tip #26: Believe in yourself

This is going to sound an awful lot like my very first tip, love yourself, but there is a slightly different nuance in the context of "looking to date somebody." Sure, you need to love yourself because that's who you will spend most of your time with prior to being in a relationship. I don't need to rehash that. But besides loving yourself, you also have to believe in yourself as far as being and becoming the kind of person that somebody is looking to date.

When you've been single for a very, very, very, very long time, it is only natural to have self-doubt about whether anyone would even like to be in a relationship with you. As opportunities continue to fall apart before they solidify, there is the temptation to just give in to defeatism and say "Oh well, I guess I'm just not the kind of person somebody else could love." But that's simply another way of saying "I hate myself." If you are truly loving yourself as explained in tip #1, then naturally you should also believe that if you love you, anybody can love you. In fact, not only are you lovable, but you are worthy and even deserving of love. What this kind of thinking does is give you a new perspective on how you go about in your interactions with potential mates. Now, you are not in the position of trying to prove your self-worth to somebody you like, but rather, you are evaluating that person to see if his or her worth measures up to your own. In a sense, you've become the buyer instead of the seller.

This may sound a bit self-centered, but actually it isn't. If you have a high opinion of yourself, you should know that you absolutely deserve what is best for you, and you already know how much you would be worth to somebody else, without having to convince anybody. You can actually be comfortable with being yourself, because you are awesome. You are a unique individual, you are the cream of the crop, and anyone — ANYone, even the man or woman of your dreams — who doesn't see that isn't worth the emotional effort. Period.

There is a word for this state of mind. It's called "self-confidence" which is immensely attractive in both men and women. Not a cocky kind of confidence, but a quiet kind of confidence that says "I know who I am, and I'm ready to embark upon a new adventure with someone who can live up to the challenge." The people you meet will pick up on this attitude, and you will immediately start out on the right foot when you first introduce yourself to them. Even if nothing happens right away, it will lay the groundwork for more a comfortable and familiar interaction the next time you run into them, and already sets you apart from the field before any kind of closer relationship transpires.