Tip #25: Get serious

Up until now, all the posts in this blog have been keeping with the subject: coping with the single life that goes on forever. They provided practical tips on how to find fulfillment in a life that is absent of a significant other. Quite purposely, they haven't tackled the single part head-on.

Now, if you are happy and satisfied with your single life, and are content for it to go on forever, then may I proudly say you've come to the end of this series and I hope you continue to live out a life of fulfillment and happiness.

But what about if you've had enough of the single life that goes on forever, and actually want forever to end? That's what I hope to address in this final entry, so if that's you, keep on reading.

At some point, you may decide that you're just plain fed up with being single. Perhaps you've already reached that point, and even shot way past it years ago. How do you deal with it? Well, it may cause you to roll your eyes or maybe even resent me for saying it, but the bottom line is, you need to get serious. Yes, get serious about ending the drought. What does that mean, exactly? It means you have to come to a peace within yourself about what you truly want. Do you want to have a relationship? No, I mean, seriously, do you want to have a relationship?

You might say, "Yeah, it would be nice" and again I say, do you want to to have a relationship?

"Well, sure, I'd like to if the opportunity is there, or I meet a good person and things progress." No, but do you want to have a relationship? Are you ready for all that it entails? Are you ready to take on the time commitment? The emotional commitment? Sometimes even a financial commitment? Are you ready to take on the risk for the chance of the reward?

Because if you do want a relationship, and are ready to take on a radical change in your everyday life, you need to start acting like it. Set the goal for yourself, actively pursue that goal, and continue to persevere even through failure. You can spend your whole life just floating along, keeping everyone at arm's length, not really committed to ending your singleness, and then guess what? You'll end up single, because that is truly what you wanted deep down inside. Even though you may say that's not the case, your actions will speak otherwise.

Now, there's nothing wrong with being single. People can live very happy and satisfying single lives if that is what they desire. But if singleness is not something you desire, then what do you want? I'm not saying you need to be desperate and take whatever comes along. Of course not. But you do have to have focus. If you don't, prospects will pick up on that and move on to someone who is more certain of what they want. This goes for both men and women.

You must first decide what you want and then take proactive steps to achieve it. And it's a big decision. Take your time with it, have a heart-to-heart talk with trusted friends and especially yourself, and firmly stand behind the final verdict. Clarity of mind does wonders for relieving frustration.

So I leave you with this: What do you really want? Are you willing to reach for it? And what do you intend to do to obtain it?

The answers lie in your hands, and yours alone.