Tip #24: Talk about it

When you've been single for a very, very, very long time, and you're getting sick of it, the last thing you want to do is talk about the very situation that causes you so much frustration. The problem is made even worse when certain people around you feel obligated to remind you of it on a near-weekly basis. It's not a state of denial where you can't admit your situation; rather, you are fully aware of the situation and feel oppressed by it. So, you make every effort to avoid broaching the subject, and if the topic ever comes up in conversation, you change the discussion, pretend you didn't hear it, or fire back with retorts of "leave me alone already!"

Unfortunately, though, avoidance is the worst coping strategy you can use, because eventually people will stop talking to you about it and go on with their lives, leaving you to struggle with your internal emotions all on your own. And like an airtight lid on a plastic container inside a microwave set at 100% power, the tumult in the depths of your being can lead to a complete and utter meltdown when you bottle it up for an extended period of time. (Did I just write that? Damn, that's good!)

Like that poor piece of Tupperware, every person needs to be able to vent the steam building within them, so talking about your frustrations with singleness, unfulfilled hopes, and the ticking clock can be a therapeutic exercise for the lonely adult. I'm not saying you make it the only topic of conversation, because then people will ask you to leave them alone, but you shouldn't shy away from talking about it. Talk about it with the people you love and trust the most among your family and/or friends. Talk about it to a spiritual adviser or guide. Talk to yourself about it while you take a long walk around the neighborhood. This is an especially good opportunity to call on the couples you started hanging out with after you read my tip #12, because they too were single once and shared the same frustrations, but they found a way out of it and can help you keep up your hopes through words of advice and encouragement.

Just don't be afraid to talk about it. It will help you deal with the feelings and sort out what you need to do and the attitude you need to have to continue onward.