How to stay above the fray

When you're single, and non-single people know it, they feel like they should try to help. When you're single for a long time, they feel compelled to help a little more. And when you're single for a very long time, they start to get desperate for you. They remind you of it constantly, not to scold you, but to reassure you that they know the problem and they are working on it. They swear up and down that they will find someone for you or do something for you to lift you up out of this supposed state of misery that you must be in. They'll promise to set you up with someone that's a friend of a relative of someone they know. They'll pray, they'll encourage, they'll give you a pep talk proclaiming that your agony won't last and that the man or woman you are looking for is just around the corner, outside the door, or waiting at the place where you are going.

It can become annoying for sure, and you may be tempted to just scream at them "Leave me alone already!" But don't. Understand where they are coming from. They found someone, and they are of the conviction that if you could find someone too, you'd be happy. They want to involve themselves in your situation, not because you asked, but because they love you enough to want to work with you. You may not — and probably do not — need their help, but if it gives them a sense of purpose to take on your "plight", then why not let them do it? Be open to offers of assistance, but have realistic expectations. Know that they most likely won't follow through, but don't discourage them from trying anyway. Who knows? They may surprise you and actually discover something. It may not be something you want, but you are still in charge and have the right of first refusal. Although the road to hell is paved with good intentions, in the bigger picture, it's still better to have friends on your side that care than strangers that don't.