Tip #32: Forget the rules

Taking a page from Cee Lo Green here, because I would prefer to use a much strong F-word in that title.

Somehow, somewhere, somebody said that there were certain rights and wrongs around dating, and some other people picked up on that and started writing their own rule books on how to date. And then pieces of those made-up rule books got out into the internet-o-sphere in the form of dating articles, lists of dos and don'ts, and common gossip spread among a wide population of singles in the forms of tweets, posts, pins, and memes. It was spread so much, it started to take on the disguise of truth.

To all that, I lift my big middle finger.

Let's set the record straight: THERE ARE NO RULES!! There is no right or wrong way of getting to know somebody in a more intimate fashion. No stupid rules of thumb like "kiss on the third date" or "say these words and phrases to maintain attraction" or "this is the right time to spend an evening at somebody's house" or any number of ridiculous formulas for moving romance in the right direction. Burdening yourself with such inane checklists is a surefire way of draining out any chance of romance.

Why? Because you're stuck in your head the whole time, that's why. Feelings don't come from the brain, they come from the heart, and for that reason, if you do any thinking at all, you should be thinking from the heart. Don't be always second-guessing yourself and analyzing whether you are doing the dance "properly" or not. Forget the rules!! They don't exist! I know this can be very hard for those who are more cerebral and introspective and analytical by nature, and if you are one of those people, you certainly have your work cut out for you. But believe me, you'll be better off throwing away the calculator and focusing on how you feel, not what's correct or incorrect.

Now, don't get me wrong: when I say think from your heart, I'm not saying you should throw all common sense to the wind. If the person's behavior is unacceptable and against your better judgment, pay attention to the cautious voice of reason within you. If things turn sexual, take logical precautions. That goes without saying. But when it comes to understanding how you and the other person are progressing in your relationship, don't measure it against fictional yardsticks and mile markers. Keep your hopes high and your expectations low. Feel your way through it like a tunnel in the dark and enjoy each moment as it comes. F*** the rules! (There, I said it).