Tip #7: Take up a hobby (or two)

This time of singleness may be the only time you have to do that thing you've wanted to do all your life, so find some kind of skill or trade or useful activity to fill up the hours you have left after mandatory obligations. It should be something fun, something different, something challenging, and ideally something share-worthy.

Something fun: We all have enough in our life that isn't fun. We do it because we have to make a living, pay the bills, or meet commitments that were made years ago. But a life without balance is pretty miserable. Drudgery is a killer of passion and enthusiasm, and denying your inner child that longing for fun drains the joy out of living. So, find a hobby that can be exciting as well as fulfilling. When I was in college, I majored in computer science. That was going to be my bread-winning profession, and indeed it wins a fair amount of bread. I also minored in drama. I had no illusions or desire of becoming a world famous actor; it was purely for fun. After I began my regular career, I continued acting in community theatre for some time. There was no pay, no fame, no accolades — just fun. And I loved doing it, until it got stale, which led me to...

Something different: Different means something that isn't the same. Well, duh? Why do I need to read a blog to tell me that? But think about what "not the same" means in your life. Carrying on from the previous point, you may be one of those people who actually has fun at work. You love your job and couldn't think of doing anything else. That's great! I'm not suggesting you look for another job just for the sake of doing something different, but consider diversifying your interests. Do you love your career so much that it continues to take over your life even after your day is done? Do you spend your off-hours reading the trades or books? Going to the parties? Listening to the lectures? There's a place for that, but consuming yourself entirely with career-related activities outside of work will turn you into a frighteningly one-dimensional individual. Find something else for a hobby that has nothing to do with what you get paid to do. If you can't think of anything, take some classes at your local community center or college to discover if there is something else you might like to do. For me, I found a new love of writing that was a part of me all my life, but I never really had the chance to fully explore, and might not have had the freedom to explore so early in life if I had a wife and kids to take care of.

Something challenging: Mastery is a process over a long period of time. It takes a while to get good at doing something, and once we do get good at something, there is a temptation to continue doing only that thing, so we can get really good at it. Indeed, some would say that mastery can never fully be achieved because you're always learning, but even though we may never become a master of something, there is certainly a level of expertise that we can achieve with enough practice. So, work at a hobby until you become an expert, then start focusing time on a new hobby where you are still a novice. If your old hobby still interests you, you should continue working on it until you achieve mastery, but meanwhile, you are diversifying once again. It will keep your mind active and form you into a more interesting and complex person with a wider range of skills and facets. It may also expand your field of potential mates, but once again, remember that's not the goal. So, if you find yourself drawn to crochet, don't hold yourself back simply because everyone you know who crochets is over 70. (Note to crocheters: Yes, I know and I've met some pretty hot young women who crochet. It's an example, okay? Don't get all knotted up by it.)

Something share-worthy: By this I mean, a hobby that can be shared with the world around you. The primary reason people take up hobbies are for personal enjoyment. That's fine, but what is even more noble is something where you can share your enjoyment with others. You can take up as many hobbies as you have time for, and most of us can think of several things we enjoy doing. I would suggest making time for one hobby that's for yourself and one where your appreciation can be shared with other people. Some examples of the latter: exhibiting artwork, playing music, performing stories, reading to kids, donating finished pieces (knitwork, pottery, mechanical work, carpentry, etc.), and even blogging. The list can go on, but you get the idea. Find ways to transform your interests into the enrichment of lives.

The time to pursue your personal passions is now, while you still have the time to do it, before you get involved with family matters. But even if it turns out that you never find a spouse or start a family, that won't stop you from living a full life if you are constantly on the lookout for something fun, something different, something challenging, and something share-worthy.