Tip #4: Be considerate (of everybody)

Yes, everybody, not just the hot girl or guy you're trying to impress. One of the very few drawbacks of being single is that you don't get as much experience doing things for the good of other people. It's easy to fall into the trap of focusing only on yourself, thinking you're the only one in the world who matters, and that life revolves around you. That kind of thinking may, in fact, be the reason why you are so miserable living the single life. "Why am I alone? Doesn't anyone see how great I am? What is their problem? I can give them so much." You're looking to someone else to fulfill your need to be affirmed, stroked, doted upon, and served. It's all about what can others do for me. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Have you ever considered, even for a moment, that maybe you're not the only one who needs some TLC? There are lots of other people in this world, and they also need someone to make life a little more bearable for them. So, live by the "golden rule" to treat others as you would like to be treated. Clean up after yourself. Hold doors open. Help the mom lift the stroller onto the curb. Let in that car that noticed its exit at the last minute (without honking or flipping them off). Allow the guy with only three items to cut in front of you at the checkout stand. Pick up the DVD or dress that fell on the floor. Bring it to the lady's attention if something accidentally slips out of her purse or she leaves her umbrella or glasses behind. Thank the janitor that empties your office trash can. Turn down the stereo during normal sleeping hours (or abnormal ones if your neighbor has strange working hours). Warn that elevator texter when he's about to step off on the wrong floor. Offer the use of your height to the vertically challenged.

And, no, don't do this hoping that some girl or guy will see you and be so enraptured by your kindness that she or he will ask you out for a date right on the spot. Odds are that nobody will notice your good deeds other than the person you are helping, and sometimes even that person won't notice or appreciate it either. You're not doing it for them, you're doing it for yourself, which is sort of ironic considering that this exercise is supposed to be about not focusing on yourself all the time. But we're talking about self-awareness, which is good, as opposed to selfishness, which is bad. The practice of being considerate of others will keep you aware of the role you play in the connectivity of humanity. The sad truth is that, despite unprecedented opportunities to nurture relationships, we are becoming more and more isolated as a society, stuck in our own little world of technology. The treatment is to find ways to extend courtesy outwards. For the single person, it is also a way to sharpen your social skills and prepare for a life when it will become more important to cater to someone else's needs rather than your own. Even if that never happens, however, you will still be doing a service to those around you, providing purpose and meaning to your single life in the process.

Now, admittedly, it can sometimes be difficult to bring yourself to extend courtesy to someone who — quite frankly — doesn't deserve it. A part of us thinks that maybe if that texter is allowed to step off on the wrong floor, or if that car is allowed to miss its exit, maybe they will learn a lesson. The problem is, though, that such an attitude doesn't help strengthen the muscle of forgiveness, which is another important piece of a successful relationship. Realize that not everybody is as perfect as you are, and sometimes, people do things they shouldn't when they're not paying full attention like you. Of course, I say that sarcastically, because you know you too are prone to the occasional lapse in judgment, yet expect people to forgive you. So, don't always be so concerned about your own convenience. Pay others the same respect that you demand to be paid with.